What's the big damn deal? If I lay down flat on the floor it usually kind of fixes it Tony Danza from Who's the Boss? Brian, when you have to go to these lengths just to get away with smoking pot, it's time to make a change. Maybe do a song about why pot is bad. Lois, don't be a hypocrite. He's got scratches on his face and arms. That's how I used to lure wayward sailors to their deaths with my siren song. Because all we need is a bag o' weed to make us want to cheer And one, two A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed Oh, everything is better with a bag o' weed You can try and fight but we're all agreed Because everything is better with a bag o' weed One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight And a one, two, three, four And a five, and a six and a seven.
I had to sell my Bangles records. The animated television series follows the dysfunctional Griffin family, who reside in the town of Quahog. And don't just put your name. You don't have to sell out like this, Brian! My God, that is just sick! It is time to make a change. Ready to ship out tomorrow.
That leg is mostly pus. Plus, I can get you a night in bed with Oprah. Apparently, they own the rights to Hitler's likeness and they won't have him slandered. If you want to win people over, you can't just drone on like Ben Stein. I usually only get this excited when they say the title of a movie in the movie. He's got eight more lives. You want us to sign a card for your cat? A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed Oh, everything is better with a bag o' weed You're a happy guy when you plant the seed Because everything is better with a bag o' weed Oh, everything is better with a bag o' weed! Would you all sign his card? Watch when I scratch his bottom.
Enough government profiteering under the guise of morality! As Mayor of Quahog, I hereby sign into law the legalization of marijuana. Hey, check out the size of Stewie's penis. So I need some of your urine, so I can Uh, you don't have to be naked for this. Pot's illegal mainly to protect them. All you got to do is make an impassioned anti-pot speech in public.
Marijuana's illegal because of you, and Stewie got to build a nice little fort with all of your unsold books. And I even commissioned an oil painting for your author's photo. The season included hold-over episodes from the sixth season, which was cut short due to the 2007—2008 Writers Guild of America strike. Well, Brian, it's your own fault. Hey, are these Diet Rites just to take? You know what we should do? I mean, haven't you seen those commercials? I mean, the guy on the show, he's already an adult, you know? We'll never get away with that! But Peter's so baked lately he can hardly set up a cutaway.
Okay, just the sticker then. We gotta do something about this. You can be a superstar author. I can be very persuasive. Your family's here to bail you out. Don't try to butter me up, Carter. I'm sorry to hear that.
Mayor West passes the law, which turns the townspeople into a bunch of potheads. How's the weather look, Ollie? This is even better than No, wait. It's 97 degrees out here. My back is hurting from the chair I'm sitting on Where's the Tylenol? In other news, a local Quahog author has set a record for the worst-selling novel of all time. Well, look at it this way. What happens when a 40-year-old woman asks her 41-year-old friend to carry her baby? He's going all the way to Vermont for cat gifts and whatnot? By stealing a baby's urine? I'll give you this light-up butterfly yo-yo. There's something I want to show you.
Peter, the reason Brian succeeded in his cause is that he spoke with such passion. His whole life is about that stupid cat. You're all getting it now. You've got to have a little more showmanship. Which means I'm losing billions in timber dollars.
Brian, we're happy you're out of jail. Hey, let's take a man-sized poop in his cat box, so he thinks there's something really wrong with him. Pewterschmidt, I could never go against Brian like that. Now, everybody gather round and listen if you would When I tell you every person needs a way of feeling good Every kitty needs a ball of string and every dog a stick But all you need is a bag of weed to really get a kick One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! Somebody make something out of that. Enough with this phony war on drugs! I gotta go to the bathroom first.
When Brian gets busted for possession of marijuana, he starts a campaign to legalize the drug. You know, you're going about this all wrong, Brian. I don't care if you printed a million copies. Peter and Lois have three kids - the youngest is a brilliant, sadistic baby bent on killing his mother and destroying the world. It's just the way God made me. I'm supposed to watch the house.